This is a matter of TRUST ! We find its reference in almost every conversation... everywhere and everyday, when we hear these:
# Don't trust strangers!
#I can't trust you anymore!
# Trust your instincts... Trust yourself... First!
# There is no love without trust.
# Lying and betrayal leads to broken trust.
And so on and on and on!
We also get so lost when questions on trust come from within oneself... some like :
# Should we trust again or not?
# What it means to trust a person?
# How to trust ones emotions?
# Are relationships based on trust?
# Don't you trust him/her?
TRUST... It has slowly become the buzzword of this era, losing its significance through endless repetition. And further it is topped up by another set of words like distrust, mistrust, blind-trust, trustworthy, self-trust etc to create a mind-boggling jargon of words and emotions in our otherwise simple life (eat, sleep, work, enjoy) ....God save us!
Let us take up the TWO simplest sentences of "trust" here for reference, and this is what we may broadly understand when someone says that:
A) I trust you! : I choose to show confidence in you and your intent (UNLESS you prove me wrong!)
B) I don't trust you! : I fear that you may not act as per MY hopes and wishes from you (which MAY hurt me!)
Words in the brackets above may be hidden in actual sentences, but too important! But the funny part of both the versions is that whatever the case, whether you trust or you don't, the practical aspect of choosing a path in life is NOT effected by 'trust'. Rather its your own personality, preference and choice in a given situation that leads to life decisions. And also there is no way to test it (trust), other than to actually try it! Think about it. Let us explore a few aspects of trust in various arenas of life.
Trust between parents and kids: In early life, kids trust their parents with everything, all their needs and wants to be fulfilled by their caretakers. As they grow, they know the preferences of the parents. Aware of what the parents expect from them, the kids start making their own way to deal with it, specially where they don't agree to a situation. Parents may sometime feel it as a breach of trust, but its better to reconsider it as part of growing up. If we open ourselves to give space to new ideas of young minds to flourish, they may win you with their logic and good intentions of not making you upset over their difference in opinion. (Related: Insights of a Mother's Soul💝
Trust between friends: "Friendship" in true sense, may not exist in the absence of trust. This one connection is all about feelings. It offers the ultimate freedom of soul to make a choice. You have no obligation to keep hanging if you don't like to... Its way beyond the obligations included in blood relationships, social bondage or a legal relationship of any kind. It might be one reason why people find themselves closest to friends rather than any relatives, often not even spouse. (Related:Friends👑... Of Soul💓)
Trust in professional relationships: When people get engaged with each other for getting a work done skillfully and for mutual benefit, they may be said to be in a professional relationship. When you talk or meet for the first time, you do get a vibe, of how to take up the work together to get desired outcome. Slowly you get to know each others skills, aptitude and attitude. This leads you to "know", what to expect of assigned work.
If a job is done as per mutual agreement, without much hassles or unnecessary delays or compromise with quality or any kind of cheat from both parties, it surely builds up "trust" for future assignments or recommendations. Else, its most suitable to part ways, before losing much time . Its better to know what you want, and if it doesn't happen smoothly, state with clarity, the issues / differences, possible solutions(if any) and do the needful with peace of mind still intact.
Trust in Financial dealings: Financial dealings take place almost everywhere, be it in a professional relationship in the form of payments or expenditures or loans OR in personal relationships like between members of a family (parents, kids, spouse, siblings etc) or between friends. Honesty and integrity are still the age old best advices for such involvement. I believe that people who are financially comfortable on their own, best save their personal relationships from being effected due to this worldly, yet unavoidable kind of necessary dealing. And on a lighter note, trust, here in this context, should only be on your own self that:
(a) If you are lending or spending, you may still deal with it if you don't get your money back, for any reason, whatsoever!
(b) If you are borrowing or accepting financial favors of any kind, you honestly intend to return it at the earliest possible opportunity / well within time, and as agreed.
Trust between Spouses: I would personally choose option (A) I trust you!... as explained above, and advice same, to think about your mate and say it aloud to yourself, everyday!
a) Its best if you both are friends at heart, comfortable sharing anything and everything with each other. Simply the facts and your intentions if humane enough, doesn't require any hiding. Still at times, one needs to save face due to own mistakes or situations, or more so because of the fear of being judged... Fear of losing a bond, which otherwise is important or dear to you. If a couple has grown up in marriage relationship with this element of 'being friends' still intact, it might be the strongest bond of life. TRUST may become as easy as breathing.
Still, NO two people can be exactly alike, nor can they think and act as per others expectations always. Usually, over the years of togetherness, spouses get used to each other to such an extent, so as to accept each other with their several shortcomings, in view of the good times and common interests that they share. Its a rare case where a repetitive pattern is also given a chance to be accepted, as it is. But for sure, its best to avoid repeating same mistakes and qualify to earn distrust. Rather, why wouldn't you try to give in to joy and peace of a blissful loving healthy marriage relationship based on sharing, caring, acceptance and mutual respect to last forever?
b) Sometimes its okay not to know those "hidden secrets" of your spouse (or near and dear ones), knowing which may hurt you, little or too much to handle. But till the time you are clueless, you are happy and content with whatever life has to offer. A practical and real-time relationship advice, if you care about yourself is, "Don't search for trouble, you may most often find what you look for. Better, take things as they come, when they come!"
c) Several times, its best to keep emotions at bay... And think and act most practically, in order to save your state of joy and comfort, in view of a marriage bond. Many short term disturbances best settle on their own with time, rather than being given any importance. As I often say to my friends, "Either the things settle, or our emotions settle with time."
d) In case of confronting any relationship for issues unacceptable to you, have the clarity in mind, whether you want the relationship saved or ruined further. And you surely would know how to deal with it, without regrets. (Related: Love of Souls💓: This February😇 )
Abovesaid situations, when specifically thought about will also surely cover "the matter of trust" in most of our personal relationships like that of siblings, relatives, beaus, neighbours, staffs etc too. Ultimately, "Trust" is not bigger than "Life". If no logic is convincing enough to live life joyfully, atleast "trust" adds optimism and positivity to the course of life! Give it a try, you may be blessed to keep it intact forever! One life, TRUST it to be a beautiful one !!!
(Related: Dream On, Dear Soul...🔮 )
