Renovate yourself

Once upon a time, there lived "I"... Who didn't look like me, didn't sound like me, didn't even feel like me, and didn't even behave like me... The way I do today! 😕 Sometimes I am unable to recognise myself, the way I percieved me and the way I find people think of me! 😐 Is that how we change over the years? Does it happen with many of us or may be most of us?

Amongst all the big and small things that life is supposed to be, one thing agreeable by each one of us is that life is everchanging! Even the one who has monotony as constant companion, can't escape the change of time ticking in the clock and date on calender, also the greying hairs and the change of scenario due to movement of other people in vicinity. And just opposed to it, there are people (like me😜) who are either criticized or appreciated, for changing things alot... I mean,  a hell lot, you know, and quite often! So, be it a change in the arrangement of bed and sofa, colour of walls and curtains, texture of furniture and floor, complete wardrobe change in new season, bringing in new time table, new activities and hobbies, trial recipes (including disasters😆), and the list is as neverending just like the course of life. One word that fits to all the changes I initiate is "Renovating"...and I am sure most of us would find it to be a rather warm word to encompass all our "change urges" to a modest level.

We were indulged into renovating our home past two months. And all this while, however hard we tried to keep things in control and as per plan, still it had been a messed up household, hard work, too tiring schedule, and sometimes finding day-to-day things was like a treasure hunt game. You may relate to this situation, still I will mention about the dust storm inside home, decibels of irritating noise, smell of paints and chemicals, absence of workers, overflowing (out)  cash and a lot of headaches. This former sentence was only to pour out my woes and be at peace to some extent. But the only idea that it will be over in a short while, and lead to a brigtened up, comfy,  warm dwelling space for all of us in the family, kept me going. It also leads to mental peace and more organized daily life.

An important aspect of home renovation has been "retrospection" every now and then. Even for the simple choices and decisions we make, like the colour chosen for a wall, or print chosen for a curtain,  or a painting placed somewhere,  makes you doubt and reconfirm phasewise, that, its not bad, its going to be okay, should I take advice, no... its good and new and bright, let's go for it ! Plus you actually get opinions and advices from almost everyone around you, including kids and labourers and neighbours, and without asking for it😆. Another learning was that once you start the process of renovating, new ideas keep popping, and you get indulged into doing a little more than planned. Plus its an opportunity to discard or renew the various clutters and corners, that we usually ignore to touch otherwise. The team of experts of various fields that you meet is another eye opening experience and makes you learn about the various intricacies of many professions and skills. Its absolute learning, a crash course.

Such projects of renovation, when completed successfully, do give you utter satisfaction and joy of creating and achieving. It uses all your skills and talents which otherwise keep getting tarnished as we may not ever need to use it. Renovation needs multitasking in varied areas.  Be it planning, implementing, people management, meeting time deadlines,  financial management,  negotiation skills, documenting, calculating, prioritizing, decision making, taking risks and what not. So, I thought to take this concept to another level and see how can we reonvate our ownselves... Yes, renovate yourself !

Sometimes when we look around us, a sinking feeling comes up... The walls look dull and old, the things look dusty, the work seems mundane, even the people around look tired and irritated over small things. In such circumstance, if your focus goes to all the worldly things that can be renewed, repaired, replaced to brighten up your life, you head towards home renovation. When its over, and one fine day you again have a sinking feeling, amidst the newly set beautiful home, you know something else needs to be worked upon. When all things look normal to consciousness, but the peace of mind is missing. You wonder what's wrong, and get to some of the following things happening with you:

1. You dont want to be angry, but cant just help shouting over small things. Your inside tells you not to act in a certain way, nonethless you still behave improperly. You are angry with the whole world, and the whole world around you is also mad at you. Sadly, you dont even know the reason. 

2. Your near ones start drifting away and keep safe distance from you. They tell you to check your bp and thyroid for any imbalances, and over a heated discussion some may tell you to visit a psychiatrist for counseling or help😩😳😶

3. You may have lots to share and say to your friend or colleague or spouse, but you choose not to... so as to avoid any conflict and discussion. Before you even begin to speak, you already know the answers you will be getting, as you know them too well. 

And lastly, 

4. You type questions on search engines, like,  why I get so angry, why people seem irritated with me, or why people don't like me,  or why I am unable to do things right...  So many things you know about yourself when you just check the search engine history😈 ... 

Because, thats the best friend for sharing whatever you want, in today's world. Its not judgemental, its answers are honest, it is at the tip of your finger and will never pop up again on its own, and it has strange solutions to all our queries. If nothing else seems relevant, it may atleast change your focus to a new game, new question, or a shopping website. So all is good with this new age friend of ours.

On a serious note, when all the abovesaid things happen, I would safely say, its time to splash some cold water on your face and sit back,  close your eyes and think of ways to renovate yourself!!! Renovation when alleged to a living being might not mean to restore to  a previous or better condition, but it surely means to bring some newness and freshness in your life and spirit... It will be a different solution for each individual. But the guideline remains the same, as,  

a. you need to declutter emotions and mundane tasks(similar to giving away useless things to needy and then throwing  out remaining garbage in the bin during home renovation) ,

b.  prioritize things in your present life (plan of action for taking up renovation, like to make the necessary  ventilations) , 

c.  change your routine and focus, pick up a new attitude to suit your mood swings, (like we manage time,  staff, resources during home renovation), 

d. try consciously to overcome the shortcomings that you find true for yourself (like taking professional help for specific work or welcoming suggestions for improvement during home renovation) , and 

e. choose your behaviour to deal with others, specifically, your close ones, alloting dedicated time for them free from hustle-bustle (like we retrospect our own choices and decisions after labourers are gone,  while renovating home).

All this will require effort, loads of it,  and time, more than expected, and patience... that will keep coming and going as you further your aim to renovate yourself. I am sure, we can do this, once when we are willing to, once we try. And why would anyone want to stay angry everyday? Why would we like to keep ourselves stressed and irritated? Why should we lose one precious day of life, cut off from loved ones... It's not worth anything! 

So, for once, let the words pour out or let the silence fill in, choose to hold your tears or let them flow like a river, pick a new hobby or take out your old crafts to complete, go for a new hair-do or a brightened-up jazzy look, or stay unnoticed - low profile if you like it, do what makes you feel new and what renovates your spirit. It is one life.  A beautiful one. A happy one preferably.  So,  Renovate yourself !!!

Sincerely yours,
Soul Tinker💫